"Oh Mom!" Moments

The other day, my friend and I were discussing Egypt and it's ancient ways and slavery and such things. (We talk about deep things, my friend and I.) The subject of Joseph from the Bible came up and I wanted to respond to my friend's comment with something intelligent sounding. But for the life of me I could NOT remember the name of the man Joseph had been a slave to. I was in the car with my mom while my friend and I were having this discussion over text message, so naturally I asked "Mom, who was that guy Joseph worked for?" Because, duh. Moms know everything, right?

"Potiphar." was her instant answer, because my mom is so clever and smart and remembers all these things...most of the time. I happily continued typing my text, but then stopped and stared at my phone for a long time. Then...

"How do you spell Potiphar?" Now, you must know, my mother is not and never has been good at spelling anything! She even practiced spelling her last name, and to this day has to spell it in her head any time she's writing it. (Both maiden and married last names) Sometimes you'll even hear her do it out loud. Haha! So when I voiced my questions, I wasn't actually expecting an answer. What I got was an immediate "P-o-t-t-i-f-e-r." 

That sounded right but I couldn't believe it so I HAD to check. And as you can plainly see, no. Pottifer is NOT how you spell the man's name. I told her and she laughed then said as seriously as possible "Well, that's the King James. Mine is the New American Standard."

Laundry Mishaps

Half way through my first semester of college, Mom decided she wanted to send me a care package. She called me up and asked me what I wanted. I gave her a simple list. I want Mexican Candy. And my Disney Princesses Towel.

I know what you're thinking... Yes, I'm 22 and still love that towel, thank you very much! =)

I waited excitedly for the next week and a half, waiting for my package filled with care. Finally... FINALLY... after two weeks, I got a notice in my P.O. Box that my package awaited me! If you can picture the moment when you were the most excited you've ever been in your whole life, then you'll know how I felt when I got that box. It hardly made it to my room before being ripped open like Christmas!

My roommates can tell you better than I the look of shock and borderline horror that covered my face when I opened it and the first thing I saw was my beautiful towel... My white, princess ballet towel, with Cinderella and Aurora and Snow White and Belle... My beautiful treasure... BLUE!

After going through the rest of the things (a really pretty mug, my very own hot pot, lots of food and candy, instant coffee. All AWESOME surprises) I called my mom. She answered "Ashley! Hi!!! Did you get your box???"

"It's Blue..." I answered flatly. Mom's only response was a bashful "Oh... yeah..."

She had been in a hurry to add it to the box after forgetting I'd requested it, and had thrown it in the wash with a load of jeans. Dark... Blue... Jeans... I'll never forget the sound of her voice as she apologized over and over again and all I could do was laugh! So like my mom! I sent her a mug and tons of thanks in return and am happy to say she still uses that mug to this day as her favorite fall time treasure. And yes, my towel is still blue...

Hotel Hell

We've always had bad luck with hotels. Everything from blood stained mattresses to occupied rooms. This weekend was no different. I sent this text to my sister the night we got into our first hotel:

(My sister laughed so hard at this, I couldn't think of any other way to share.) 

Along with proof:

It was a cheap hotel though, so what were we to expect, right? When we got to San Antonio we were staying in a NICE hotel. I was sure we' have a great room with standards way above the last one! I mean isn't that what you expect from a Hilton? Of course! (We didn't have to pay for it but still, you expect better from a big place like that.)

No. No, it was not better. As soon as we entered the room we heard Mom yell "Don't put your bags down!!! There's ants."

Sure enough. The desk and wall were covered with little lines of ants!! We changed rooms and the hotel people were very nice about it. They even have us extra cookies!

Still, it was further proof that our streak of bad luck inns was not over. But maybe next time. Fifty-eighth time's the charm, right? No, I'm not actually obsessed enough to have actually counted the times we've stayed at less than desirable hotels. But maybe Mom knows... ;)

Dumb Bunny

We spent the last weekend in San Antonio with my dad's brother and his wife. They live out of state so we rarely get to see them. It was so fun to get to meet up with them there!! While we were at the hotel, among the many touristy things we did, we also attempted to learn two card games. The first is a game our cousins taught us over Christmas called "Dumb Bunny." The point of the game is to not be the last one still holding cards, because then you'd be considered the Dumb Bunny. It's an absolutely amazing game! Fun for the family, especially big groups!

Here's what you'll need:
1) Awesome people
2) One deck of playing cards, minus the jokers (for larger groups it's fun to use two or even three decks!)

Here are the rules (as best as I can remember them)
Step one. The dealer shuffles the deck, then places three cards face down in front of each player. Like so:

These aren't actually playing cards but you get the idea. <3

The players may not look at these cards. Next, the dealer hands out six cards. These cards you CAN look at.

Step Two. Each player looks at his or her cards and chooses the three best cards out of their hand. The best cards would be high cards. Aces, Kings, Queens, and Jacks. Or wild cards. The twos, eights, and tens. (I'll explain those in a minute)

Step Three. One card is placed in the middle and the rest of the deck is placed next to it. Each player takes a turn putting a card down that has a number value equal or higher to the card at the top of the pile. So for example, if the card on the top of the pile is a four, the player taking his turn would have to put a card on top of the deck that is either a four or higher. If he does not have a card four or higher in his hand, he must take the whole pile and the next person can put which ever card they want to start a new pile. If, however, this play does have a card higher than four, he can place that card on top of the pile and take a card from the draw pile to keep three cards in his hand. 

What happens when the draw pile is gone, you ask? That is where it gets fun. When the draw pile is gone, and you've played all the cards in your hand, you can play the three cards on the table that you chose. Once all three of those have been played, you can play the ones on the table that were dealt to you before, but you can NOT look at them! Same rules from before apply. If you play a face down card and it's smaller than the number at the top of the pile, you have to take the whole pile!

Now. Here's the explanation of wild cards.

• Twos: This card can be placed on the pile at any time to set the number count back down to zero
• Eights: This card can also be placed on the pile at any time to mirror the card beneath it. Example: If the card at the top of the pile is a Queen, and I can't beat a Queen, I can place an eight on top pile and the next person will have to beat a Queen. And yes, eights can be put on top of eights. If the person next to me also has an eight, they can play it on top of mine and the next person will have to try to beat a Queen. Catch: If a pile is started with an eight, it does not mirror a zero, it is simply an eight. 
• Tens: This card can be placed on any number lower than it to clear the pile. This means the pile is taken away and set aside, and you get a new turn!
• Other ways to clear the pile: You are allowed to play more than one card at a time if it is the same number. For example, if the card at the top of the pile is a four, and I have two sixes, I can put both my sixes on the pile, then draw two cards to have a total of three. If I play four of the same card in one turn, the pile is cleared and I get another turn. 

One of the hardest rules of the game! An Ace can only be beat by a two or by passing it on to the next played with an eight. If you don't have a two, or an eight, or another Ace, you have to take the pile! 

I hope you all enjoy playing this game with your families. I know my Aunt can't wait to play it again so she's no longer the Dumb Bunny! =)

Whistle While You Work

Mom has always been the type of person to sort of...get lost in her own head. She has such an active imagination that it never really shuts off. For example, as early as I can remember, we've always had to repeat things to her several times because the first time she won't actually be listening. She'll be too lost in thought. But that could happen to anyone, you say, right? Well, another example is that a lot of times Mom will randomly start to laugh to herself. For no reason whatsoever! It's because she thought of something funny or remembered something interesting. It's kinda like...she has whole conversations with herself in her own head. My brother does the same (on a more verbal level). I personally think it has something to do with their A.D.D. but that may be just me. I also think, though, that her imagination is part of why I became so interested in writing. So I can't complain when I have so much to thank it for. Haha.

One example of how she has always been spacey... One day while Mom was in grade school (She's told me this story many times so I'll retell it as best I can. Obviously I wasn't there...) the teacher was rearranging all the students and their desks and she decided to sit sweet little Sara right next to the window. Now she tried to tell the teacher that this wasn't a good idea, but the teacher didn't listen. Little Sara always got in trouble for not paying attention. She'd spend hours upon hours of their class time staring out the window imagining all sorts of adventures. On this particular day, she was imagining herself playing outside. It was a beautiful sunny day and there were all sorts of things she could think to do. Only days prior she'd learned to whistle, so in her imagination she skipped through the grass, whistling away to the birds and the trees and herself. It wasn't until the teacher was right in her face yelling at her that she snapped back to reality and looked up in time to hear the teacher say "Sara! We do not whistle in class!" You can imagine the teacher must have been fuming. Here she's trying to teach a bunch of second graders math or science or something and there goes Sara. Whistling away to herself for all the world to hear!

To this day, Mom will swear she had NO idea she was whistling out loud. =)

Christmishaps Part 2

Earlier this year, Mom and I made almost a hundred little snowman ornaments to sell at the courthouse. Needless to say we didn't sell them all. This Christmas, every member of my mother's family came from all across the united states to visit us. We had tons of time celebrating and visiting with them! Especially with all the kids! On the last day they were all here, we brought out our box of the many snowman ornaments. Each child excitedly picked one out and all the parents took handfuls for next years trees. We were glad to give them. When all had gone we put the box away, half emptied of it's frosty contents. Mom was happy to be relieved of some of the stock. The very next day, our Etsy store got an order for another several. Mom had been worried we'd never get rid of them! As it turns out, we may just have enough to keep for our tree next year!

Christmishaps Part 1

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year, and it is always the perfect time of year for Christmas projects! From gifts to goodies to decorations, the Christmas season is always busy busy busy! This year, we tacked on a few extra projects, which made things a little extra busy...

Normally, after thanksgiving we start decorating. Before November's over the house is covered in red and green bows and ribbons, garland and lights, and of course the tree! This year, however, my sister returned from college with a particularly nasty flu, and we are all sad to say she did not take it back. From the time she left to the time she came home for Christmas break, the whole family was up to our noses in tissues. Mom got it the worst, sick in bed for what seemed like forever! Of course we all recovered, but not before it was well into the Christmas season and our tree wasn't even set up yet!

When my sister got back after finals, it was easier to get things moving. We took everything down from the attic and spread it all out in the garage. Among the many boxes of Nutcrackers and Angles was a project my mom had started many years ago when we'd first moved into our house. See, the front of our house and our front yard are both on the bigger side, so it's both difficult and expensive to put up lights and decorations outside. The first year we'd moved in, Mom had come up with the amazing idea to use tomato cages covered in lights and garland as trees to put in the yard. She'd never finished the project though so I'd picked it up. The more we worked with it though, the more I realized why she'd given up on the project earlier. It was only weeks till Christmas and with family coming over, I wanted something to make the house look nice. Mom suggested we just decorate the porch.

On our porch we have three large pillars. With the lights and garland we already had we figured maybe we could decorate those. And so we started. First thing to do was string the lights on the garland! Wait... Back up. First first thing to do was untangle the lights. Then we could put them on the pillars. That was an adventure all in itself. We started by stapling on end of the garland to the wood porch roof at the top of the pillar while I held the rest in a bundle over my shoulder. Then while mom made sure each piece was in place, I went in circle after circle around the pillar, squeezing between wall and ladder to get around it. We couldn't stop laughing the whole time! That is... until we realized that of the strings of lights we'd brought out to use, only one still worked, the one we had up. the other strings had shorts in them, and the one we'd put up was so dim we couldn't put anything brighter up against it. We needed new lights. And fast. It was just before Home Depot closed that we ran in to find lights. All the Christmas stuff was being taken down everywhere. The last of it was in a little corner by the door. After almost thirty minutes of searching through every shelf, we found the last three boxes of lights, and thank goodness they were just barely long enough for what we needed. We happily hurried home with our purchase, but then had to unstring all the lights from the first pillar to put up the new ones.

It was several hours in the dark before we finally finished putting up each string of lights. (Mom had insisted we do it at night so we could...see what we were doing...?)

We stood back and looked at our work, and Mom turned to me "Ashley, we should go back to Walmart and get that wreath before it's gone." I agreed, so at two in the morning, we hopped in the car and drove down to Walmart, where they were busy taking down all the Christmas stuff. We just barely found our wreath and a nice looking poinsettia to finish off the look. Over all, we did good for one night. And we had fun. That's the most important part!